dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
