Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize