My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
