According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
