oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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