i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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