Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
