Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
