The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize