When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
