I have demons in me.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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