If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
