Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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