I feel like I'm in dance class right now
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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