Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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