I must be too annoying 4 u.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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