Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
