There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
