I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
