Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize