y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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