I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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