super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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