True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize