That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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