Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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