"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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