I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
