Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
