your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Semen is not good for contacts.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
