Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Are we still banned from the library?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
