you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
