my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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