Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
