can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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