There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
