We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
