I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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