I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
