Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
