Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
