i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
