I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
