Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
