eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
