just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
