I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
