im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
