I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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