You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently you make a good broom.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
