Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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