well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
