did you get engaged???
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
