I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
