New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize