Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
