Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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