Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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