Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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