Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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