That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
