I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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