Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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