We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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