well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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