oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i came on her dog
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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