last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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