I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
