i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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