How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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