"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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