I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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