a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
